


Necrography (Pilot)

by Suncoast_Digest



Series: Necrography [1]
Category: Mad Magazine, Nirvana (Band), Rock Music RPF, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Afterlife, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is Dead, Gen, Heaven, Kidfic ig, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Weirdest Wish Fufillment Ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2019-10-05 07:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17320844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suncoast_Digest/pseuds/Suncoast_Digest
Summary: The 27 Club has been revered for decades as Heaven's greatest heroes. Then one day, they gain an unofficial, underage new member-and their cloud turns upside down. Partially inspired by Luke McGarry. Debut fic, first in possible series.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Call me Phi. This is my first story for AO3, after a few decent but discontinued fics for Fanfic.net. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while, but only now do I think I’ve developed it enough to put on paper. Screen. Whatever. First, I have to see if it has potential to continue for an extended time, hence “Pilot”. I wrote this in script form, but only for the narration, and future installments will probably be in normal, story form. Lemme get some stuff out of the way first…
> 
> (Disclaimer #1: This story portrays a theoretical version of Heaven and the afterlife that is not meant to be entirely religiously accurate or accepted as fact. If anyone knows what Heaven is like, they can let the author know in the comments.)
> 
> (Disclaimer #2: The author did not personally know any celebrity portrayed in this story. Some of them passed on decades before the 16-year-old author was born. As such, her interpretation of their personalities has been mostly shaped by what knowledge she has of them, research and/or her own imagination, and she has tried to portray each person as accurately as possible, with some creative liberties. The author apologizes if she causes offense to the celebrities portrayed or their loved ones. Hopefully, that will not be the case.)
> 
> (Disclaimer #3: The “27 club” as used in this fic was originally created by Luke McGarry for MAD Magazine. )
> 
> And now, without further ado…

(A spark of light slowly envelopes the screen. Narration starts.)

_Where do I begin?_

_I guess I can start with Robert, but we don't see him that often. Only on missions._

(As the voice keeps talking, the camera pans over the gate of Rock N Roll Heaven, then its various houses, town center, and stage. No people are visible.) 

_I guess it's pretty easy to feel sorry for him. I mean, the rest of us had some recognition-some more than others-and what did he get? A short, thankless life, followed by an eternity of suffering and obscurity. Kids these days will never get it. If i could, I’d give him half the fame I’ve got._

_...Uh, sorry about that...where was I ...oh, yeah._

_So, I guess it started around the turn of the 70s...when people first noticed us._

(Slowly zooms in on front yard of THE 27 CLUB’S HOUSE. It resembles an oversize jukebox. JIMI HENDRIX meditates. Flames emerge from both his palms. Suddenly, water sprays from offscreen at him, causing his flames to extinguish.) 

(BRIAN JONES holds a hose and laughs heartily) 

Hendrix: What the heck, man? What was that about?

Brian: (chuckling) Sorry, it's just...you looked too peaceful.

(Hendrix tries to reignite, but only small flames sputter out.) 

Hendrix: Thanks a lot. Now it'll take me til tomorrow to dry out.

Female VO: Brian!

(Shot of JANIS JOPLIN, tending some flowers on the side of the house. JIM MORRISON is crouched beside her, digging a hole.) 

Janis: Stop fooling around and help me like you said you would.

Brian: Coming!

(Morrison digs up a lizard. They stare at each other as his friends talk in the background) 

Janis: I swear, the longer I'm here, the crazier you get.

Brian: I'm just trying to liven things up. It's a slow day.

Janis: Whatever. Could you at least find that skunk?

Brian and Hendrix: What skunk?

(They turn around. KURT COBAIN enters the frame)

That...would be yours truly.

Kurt: Haha. I'm just here to do my job.

(He fires up the lawnmower he's holding) 

Kurt: Gangway.

(The others move. As Kurt mows, his inner thoughts continue.)

_I suppose I was a bit of a shock when I first came around. What can I say? I picked up right where they left off. Things were different. Rock got grounded. Deeper. And celebrity…oof. They didn't know the half of it._

_But, I grew on them, I guess. I did my job well. They helped me, I helped them. We made it work._

_And then, just when they were getting used to me…_

Female VO: Hey, Kurt! Think fast!

(Kurt gets hit on the head with a ball of dirt.) 

_Along came Amy_.

(AMY WINEHOUSE is shown, some more dirtballs inside her beehive.) 

Janis: Not you, too…

(The older singer smirks at this and bends down, scooping some dirt up) 

Kurt: Ok, you want a fair fight? Take…THIS!

(He slings a clod at her. As they exchange blows, more of the club gets in on it.) 

_The first of us from the new millennium, and boy, was she a handful at first. She introduced us to something called “the Internet”, which in our wildest dreams we couldn't have seen coming. Apparently, since I’ve been gone, everybody found their own voice...and that wasn't always a good thing. Still, the modern world wasn't something we dealt with up here. At least, not when we could help it._

(Eventually, all of them are tossing dirt, laughing, and yelling. The camera zooms away from them)

_But this, really, isn't the story of Amy, or me, or even the club._

_This...is the story of our friend. The story of Junior._

_And it starts with a call..._


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah, no more of the Script stuff, but....I'm not so good with talking words, or adjectives and things like that...So, I guess I'd like some critique. Also, I've been known to use a lot of ellipses. 
> 
> That being said...

His pager started buzzing the moment after they sat down to dinner. Kurt answered it as the others ate. It was only after he hung up that they asked who it was.

“Just Lennon. He says he’s got a job for us.”

“You know,” Amy noted, “I keep saying I can up you to cell phones.”

Kurt chuckled. “Please. You don’t know what it took to up them to these. Anyway, he says he thinks a guy got misplaced.”

“Misplaced”, Janis scoffed. “Ha! That never happens.”

“Well, tell that to John. He says he heard about a month ago a singer named Gord Downie had cancer, poor guy. He passed today, but somehow got stuck in the Sports section.”

“Sports? I’m not buying it.”

“So he wants us-some of us, at least-to check up on things. We’ll probably be gone for a while, so...who wants to get out of the house?”

“Fine, I'll go.” Amy got up with her plate.

“Ok...Jims? You coming?”

“Only to see the look on your faces when you realize this is nothing.”

“Yeah, I'm staying here with Pearl”, said Brian. “I’m with her. No one’s misplaced around here.”

—-

Halfway to Sports Heaven, in the back of the Volkswagen, Amy sighed heavily.

Kurt scooted over to his friend.

“What’s up, Ams?”

“...I don’t know. Something just feels off.”

“Look, I know this isn't what we're used to, but if it’s a false alarm, we'll be in and out.”

“It’s not just that.”

“Well, what is it?”

She started slower, but got more frazzled.

“Well, like, a week into this year, Bowie arrived here. Fine. Then Glenn Frey came. Ok, a bad streak. Then the one from Jefferson Starship, Earth Wind and Fire, George Martin, Frank’s kid, Merle, fricking Prince-and those are just the musicians! Didn't we just see Muhammad Ali last week? What's going on?”

“...I dunno what to tell you. People die. Some years are better than others.”

“But don't you think this one's weird?. It's too many big stars, too fast.”

“Amy. Hey.” 

He reached over and patted her back gently. 

“It's ok. Just don't dwell on it too much. You shouldn't worry about down there, unless we're on the job. Ok?”

She looked back at him. Then sighed again.

“You're right, I’m sorry, it's just…”

She stared out the window. Nothing much except grass, and under that, the slightest bit of cloud.

“I don't feel like we're through the worst of it.”

\---

The van slowly parked by the grand entrance. As the Club got out, they heard faint shouts of cheering. Across from them was the lit up Olympic Arena. 

“Well, if there is a mix-up, doesn't seem like anyone cares.” said Jimi.

“Maybe they've got him in there?” asked Kurt.

“No shame in checking, I guess”.

The four rushed inside-no one needed tickets up there-and found…

Thousands of passionate fans seated around the stadium. Ten players skating around the rink. And a red-and-white banner that read as follows:

WELCOME GORDIE HOWE-MR HOCKEY

\--

“I cannot  _believe_ we just did that,” moaned Jimi as they left through the back.

“Hey, blame Lennon! He wasted our evening with this whole 'wrong section' charade!” cried Mori.

“Imagine if someone had seen us. Think I would've fainted,” Amy added.

“Calm down,” Kurt consoled, “I’m sure this was an honest mistake.”

Before they could respond, a red light blinked on Kurt’s buzzing pager.

“See, that’s probably him right now!”

The others’ devices went off as well.

“...Ok, that’s a little much, but…”

He answered the call.

“Kurt? Come back.”

“Yeah, we know. We-”

“Forget him. Bring him with you. Whatever.”

In the background, Kurt made out some soft mumbling. Worried murmurs. 

“We’ve got a situation-a real one!”

“What are you talking about?”

“There’s a girl here....just hurry!”

“Ok, we’ll be right there. Hang on.”

Kurt hung up and announced, “Uh, sorry guys, we gotta go. Something’s up.”

They all groaned, Amy the loudest.

“Not another thing! Just let us go home!”

“This is at home. And I don’t think it’s a trick. They sounded upset.” 

“Fine. Let's see who's next in the pine jacket.”

\---

By the time they returned, the crowd around the gate had widened to dozens. John stood at the edge closer to the Club. Kurt led the others to him.

“They're here! Everybody make way! Not too close, now!

“Yeah, we are, what the hell’s going on?”

“Bowie and I found her by the gate. Just like that. She's clearly not taking it well. You should talk to her.”

“Found who?”

“We don't know. None of us knew her. But if you ask…”

The bystanders stepped aside as the Club slowly passed them through.

And then they saw her.

  
  
  
  
 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sucky kidfic cliche chapter with triggering joke at end. It'll get better. I promise.

Her face was tucked between her legs, her hands to her knees. She wore a black top and skirt, and blue streaks hung on the ends of her dark hair. She occasionally gasped and shook slightly.

Kurt took a few deep breaths before kneeling down to her.

“Hey, there. It's ok. You're safe now.”

The girl stopped shaking at these words and shyly poked her head out. 

“Hi...My name’s Kurt. What's yours?”

She answered softly, her voice trembling. 

“...Ch...Christina.”

“That’s a nice name. Listen. Do you know where you are?”

She nodded.

“Do you know what happened to you?”

She only curled back into fetal position.

“It’s ok. You don't have to tell us now. Just… how old are you?”

It came as a mumble.

“Twenty-two.”

A small gasp and more mutters.

“Don't worry, we’re gonna lead you home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah...we all get our own place here. Pretty sweet, huh? 

“...Alone?”

Another silence.

“...Well, yeah. If you don't have someone up here already, you'd-

“No…”

Her voice broke as she resumed shivering.

“I can't be alone again. I can't. I…”

The crowd could only watch in sympathy.

 

“Club huddle.”

Amy and the Jims fell in. Hendrix started. “Twenty-two? Guys, what could've-”

“That's not important. What's important is that we figure out what happens now.”

“I say we ship her to Classic.”

“Morrison, we literally JUST came back from this. If she was meant to go to Classic, she would've-”

“I have an idea.”

Amy, who up to now was the quietest through all this, piped up.

“Maybe...she could live with someone else for a while.”

“Who, exactly?”

“I say finder's keepers. HEY, JOHN-”

Amy covered Morrison's mouth and continued.

“John is ok, but I was thinking someone on the younger side. Maybe a few people.”

It took a second to register.

“US?”

Kurt shook his head empathetically. “Nooooonononono. That can't happen.”

“Why not then?”

“It's the 27 Club. If we let some kid in, soon everybody will want to join, and then who are we?”

“She probably doesn’t have a power. She doesn't have to go on assignments, just…”

“Even so, she's younger than us, and look how we turned out. What if we can't handle it?”

“You handled me.”

“You were different.”

“How?”

Silence. Kurt sighed and broke the huddle. He went back to the younger girl.

“Hey, um...Christina, was it?”

She lifted her head back up. “Yeah?”

“We’re gonna make a deal. You can stay with us for a while. We'll help you settle in. Ok?”

The girl only stared at him a while.

“You're….Kurt Cobain.”

“Oh, you know me...well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but…”

“And he's...Jimi Hendrix, right? Over there?”

The mentioned star waved at her from afar.

“Are you all-”

“Whatever you’re thinking, kid, yes. You coming or not?”

“....Ok. I guess.”

He turned to the audience, who he hoped hadn’t heard any of the previous, and announced: “Ok, everyone...The 27 Club...is keeping her.”

Producing the biggest mutter of all.

Taking her hand, he led her to her feet.

“C’mon, to the car. I’ll let you ride shotgun, ok?”

“No!” Christina yanked her arm back.

The rest of the Club was staring.

“...Or, you could take the back...whatever…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't shake the feeling that all this would have been better as a comic. Alas, I have little to no drawing skills, so this will have to do.

“Brian, Janis, we’re home.”

The two 60s stars met Kurt at the door.

“How'd it go with your friend Gord, buddy?”

“Well, the good news is, you won the bet.”

“Ha! Told ya! System never fails!”

Brian chuckled a bit before seeing his friend’s stoney expression.

“...Is...there bad news?”

Kurt stepped aside, revealing the young woman behind him.

“...What, does she want to sell us cookies?”

“Everyone, this is Christina. She's gonna be staying with us.”

“Another girl?” Janis asked as the rest of the Club shuffled inside. “We're really catching up to you, huh? I mean, not sure that's a good thing, but…”

“She's not a member. She's 22.”

“Oh. Well. Um…” A slight blush shone on Pearl’s cheeks.

“Every question will be answered by her for the moment. I for one think I’ve said enough. Brian, first thing in the morning you and I are gonna head to Records and find her info. Everyone else, just make her feel comfortable. I'm gonna turn in.”

And with that, the quote-unquote Godfather of Grunge was off to his quarters.  
The newcomer didn't speak until he was gone.

“...Nice place you have here.”

Brian replied, “Eh, there are better. For an oversize apartment, we can't complain, can we, Tina-Can I call you Tina?”

“...I guess.”

“Where are you from? East Coast? You seem kinda pale.”

“...Uh...Jersey. But I moved to SoCal a while back. I’m going back this weekend. After the…”  
Her face fell as she remembered. “...I mean….I was supposed to…”

Evidently, small talk wasn't their strong suit. 

Something brushed against Tina’s cheek. Blinking, she noticed what Pearl was holding out to her.

“Flowers?”

She took the bouquet of buttercups cautiously.

“Were you...holding these? Just now?”

“My powers.” 

“Powers?”

“I’ll explain tomorrow. It's getting late. Time for bed.”

Bed. The thought only came to them then.  
Amy looked around the corner to the hall of rooms.

The two previous times someone had joined, the hall had widened by itself. Here, no such luck. Only the same six doors as the night before.

“Crud...guys, where's she gonna sleep?”

Pearl and Hendrix volleyed ideas.

“She could take the couch.”

“The couch- what if we want to practice in the morning, huh? The Fourth is coming up.  
Don't we have a broom closet?”

“Yeah, and it's two square feet in there max. Unless she likes sleeping standing up, that’s not an option.”

“I'll get Classic on the horn.”

“Can it, Morri. So, I guess our only option is for one of us to bunk with her.”

All eyes turned to Amy.

“...What?”

\---

She was sleeping well. Well for someone on the floor covered by a pile of old dresses, let alone someone who was spending their first night in the Hereafter. Maybe she was just tired out.

Amy knew she wasn’t like that her first night. 

Her feelings, if she was honest, were as mixed as the rest of her peers. Only because she had been there. For almost five years, she was the youngest-in the Club and in town. If not for her being at the “special” age, who knows where she would've gone. She guessed she wanted to return the favor? Plus, she admitted, it was nice to move up a notch. She even noticed they looked a little similar. Just a little.

The difference was, Tina clearly didn’t see this coming. This placed her in a rather large chunk of the population, but when was the last time someone seemed so...helpless? And now she had been welcomed to eternity with little more than a shag carpet and some de la Rentas for blankets. It should have been pitiful.

She seemed content with all of it. That was what mattered, Amy supposed.

Closing her eyes and settling into her pillow, she vowed to talk the situation over with the rest in the morning. When they knew more.

She heard a small moan from below her as she drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This…is not turning out the way I thought it would. The tone’s all over the place. I keep thinking maybe if I changed this concept or that scene everything would flow better, but I’ve put way too much rigid plotting into it to rewrite anything now. As long as you enjoy it, I guess. Comment freely.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am terrible at updating. No, I actually have been working on this.

She awoke to a gentle knock on her door. 

“Amy? We kinda need your help here.”

“Ok, ok, I'm up”.

She sat up, stretched, and was about to jump down before remembering her new roommate. Tina was unaroused by the call, still wadded up in the dress pile. 

As the door opened, Brian held a yellow folder in front of her.

“Kid still asleep?”

“Looks like it. Is that her file?”

“Yeah. I tried reading it, but I can't make heads or tails of it. You know modern life the best, so maybe you could understand.”

“I’ll try.”

—-

Jimi pulled the wicker seat from the closet to the table.

“Well, we may not have a bed, but we’ve got a chair. I call that a win.”

Brian pushed his plate aside and opened the folder.

“Ok. What we got?”

“Well, her name is Christina Grimmie. She wanted to be a singer since she was six, and got started as a teen on...Youtube?”

“Youtube? Oh, that's a website. People post videos of...whatever.”

“Hmm. It says she was primarily a cover artist.”

“You got a problem with covers?” Janis yelled from the counter.

“Nooo…Then she was a contestant on The Voice. Is that like Eurovision?”

\---

Kurt tried to focus on KP with Pearl. But it was tough keeping his eyes open. It had been a long night, plauged with questions. And his suspicions. Theories he hoped weren't the case. 

That was why he forced himself to ask Brian what happened. 

“...Well...it seems like last night, she did a concert in Orlando. Afterwards, she met her fans for pictures, when some guy waltzed right up to her and…”

He pointed two fingers to illustrate.

“Pow. Mil to the head.”

They could hope no longer. 

A slow, sickening crunch filled the room. Kurt’s egg-covered fist began to shake. Janis reached over.

“There, there, easy, bud.”

“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill whoever did this.”

“Too late. He offed himself right after. After being tackled by...by her older brother.”

“That’s just horrible.” said Amy, and the rest muttered in agreement as Mori entered.

“Wha-wha-what're we talking about?” he yawned.

“Turns out Amy Jr. was murdered.” Jimi explained.

“Wait, what?”

“Don't call her that. She isn't me.”

“I mean...I would be fooled if you said you were sisters.” Kurt admitted.

A murmur arose from outside the walls.

“What’s that?”

Accompanied by the clicks of photography.

“Oh, no….”

\-----

 

The mass of oversized cameras parted at Brian’s entrance.

He squinted back at the flashes as a mic was pointed to him.

“Uh, the Club is overjoyed to welcome our new addition, and respectfully request your privacy at this time.”

“Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones!”

“I said scram!” 

Jimi’s voiced sounded. “Bri? She's up.”

“Now look what you did!” he growled, sprinting back in and locking the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I’ve decided. Quality or not, I’m going to finish at least this pilot. No matter how much padding I need, this is happening. The second(?) episode is turning out better. If we get to it.


	6. A/N

I really do want to finish this. I might go back and change some stuff in the previous chapters. Not the whole plot now, just things to link it up to the future. I have the flaw of ambition, is all. -Phi


End file.
